They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
