you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Randomize
