TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
