My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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