I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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