At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
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