i wish starbucks made bloody marys
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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