Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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