I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
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