Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Randomize
