OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
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