Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
