Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Randomize
