I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
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