You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
