i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
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