it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Randomize
