8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
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