dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
she smelled like a LAN party
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
Randomize
