My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
I just gift wrapped bread.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
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