That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
She's like a pop up book from hell.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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