So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
