If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
