At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I am naked and annoyed.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
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