dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Randomize
