I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
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