I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize
