She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
COCAINE IS GR8
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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