how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
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