its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
When did angry sex become our thing?
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
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