he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
