I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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