nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
I want to be your penis for a week.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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