its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
