if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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