If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
