I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
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