Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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