when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
oh god was she eating orange peels again
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Randomize
