I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Randomize
