I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
