Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Randomize
