haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
Randomize
