I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
