He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Randomize
