it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
