I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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