It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Randomize
