I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Randomize
