So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
try to milk me bitch
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
